I have a message for you, a very sad message
My subject for this evening will be 
Little Bo Peep
It says here, Little Bo Peep 
Who was a little girl
Has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them
Now that's reasonable, isn't it

It's, it's reasonable to assume 
If Little Bo Peep had lost her sheep
It's only natural 
That she wouldn't know where to find them
That, that basically is reasonable 
But, uh, "leave them alone
Now that overwhelms me 
Completely overwhelms me
The man said she lost her sheep 
Turns right around and boldly states
"She doesn't know where to find them"
And then has the stupid audacity to say 
"Leave them alone"
Now, now, now think for a moment, think
If the sheep were lost, 
And you couldn't find them
You'd have to leave them alone, wouldn't you
So, leave them alone
Leave them alone
It's in the book

Leave them alone and they 
They being the sheep, "they will come home"
Ah yes, they'll come home
Oh, there'll be a brighter day tomorrow 
They will come home
It's in the book

They will come home a-waggin' their tails
Pray tell me what else could they wag
They will come home a-waggin' their tales 
Behind them, behind them
Did we think they'd wag them in front
Of course, they might have come home in reverse
They could have done that, I really don't know
But, none the less 
It's in the book

So now if you will, kindly pick up your books
And turn to page 222
We'll ask you all to sing
You'll find your books on the backs of your seats
Are we ready

Everyone, 222
Let's really enjoy ourselves 
Let's live it up
All together

Do you remember grandma's lye soap
Good for everything in the home
And the secret was in the scrubbing
It wouldn't suds and couldn't foam

Then let us all sing right out of grandma's
Of grandma's lye soap
Used for, for everything 
Everything on the place
For pots and kettles 
The dirty dishes 
And for your hands and for your face

Shall we now sing the second verse
Let's get it with great exuberance, let's live it up
It's not raining inside tonight
Everyone, let's have a happy time
Are we ready 
All together, the second verse

Little Herman and brother Thurman
Had an aversion to washing their ears
Grandma scrubbed them with the lye soap
And they haven't heard a word in years

Then let us all sing right out of grandma's 
Of grandma's lye soap
Sing all out, all over the place
The pots and kettles, the dirty dishes 
And also hands and also f.....
(clapping fades)

Well, let's sing what's left of the last verse
Let's have a happy time, everyone
The last verse, al-l-l-l together
Ev-v-v-very one

Mm-m-m-m, thank you kindly, kindly
M-m-mrs, O'Malley, out in the valley
Suffered from ulcers, I understand
She swallowed a cake of grandma's lye soap
Has the cleanest ulcers in the land

Then let us all sing right out of grandma's 
Of grandma's lye soap
Sing right out, all over the place
The pots and, the pots and pans, oh dirty dishes
And the hands..